Coming to the end of this Journey, has not been a walk through the park. But I thank God, I know him. The enemy had many fiery darts. My son in NJ got sick with a throat infection, because I work on commission, I have not met my income goal per pay period. I found myself in a personal mess of who said, she said. It was so negative, emotionally draining and feelings were very hurt. It was all just a fiery dart of the enemy.
I decided to thank God anyhow! Now that the smokes cleared with all of this, I can see it was just an attack to take me off focus.
I am coming close to getting back to being centered. I will carry my cross and endure hardships as a good soldier and I wont complain because it will all be okay and God has been GOOD.
I will rest securely in His love and I will love and forgive myself.
Self awareness is a constant seeking. We are always presented with challenges and opportunities to learn about ourselves. God is so good, in that He reveals ourselves to us in situations that we face. Some situations that my be disturbing or grievous, in our cry out to help, understanding or change He will show us our attitude, or belief system, be it unbelief, or lack of faith that keeps us in our circumstances or that does not manifest the change we seek.
What am I saying? When seeking change to situations, we can discover how certain situations has become apart of our lives. So, then how do we effect change or effectively change to have better experiences. In this self discovery, lies more change and determination to think right, to better our attitudes and belief system.
In the case with my Journey diet, I’m feeling flustered. I have made many changes and sacrifices and the changes I’ve sought have not happened, it is happening, but to the degree I’ve made changes, the scale victory I’d like to see is not there. And most of all I’m not adapting well to eating and not having that feeling of satisfaction. I have realized that I expect something from my food and meal time. I expecting to “feel” good. I never knew that I attached so much joy and satisfaction to my meals. I’m wondering why this is and why am I not satisfied. Honestly, this has caused me to have thoughts of quitting. Because I missed and wanted my “old feeling” of satisfaction I once got from food and truthfully I was annoyed.
And although, I had decided to eliminate certain foods from my diet prior to the Journey, it seemed as if I could give them up more easily because I felt it would serve me with feeling better after a meal and in my body, my skin and digestive system.
This was a happy choice and I felt good about having made the decision to make these changes. But now here I am on the Journey and feel myself resenting the sacrifices to a “feel good” meal.
I’ve asked God to reveal what it is about me that has me feeling and seeing things this way. Anyway, I’m pressing on and I’ll see it through to the end, pissed and all.
What I believe I’m hearing from God is there are times when the “bigger the challenge the bigger the victory”. So I’ll accept that with expectation.
Yesterday was an awesome day of light. Today, was a challenge with food and finances. I’m keeping it moving with my thoughts, knowing that my challenges are teaching me something. I pray that I’m learning something about myself, the self awareness and then realizing what needs to change in my mind to create effective change in both these areas of food and finance.
Yesterday, there were highs and lows. My heart was heavy at times. I felt the burdens of the wounds and misfortune of both my incarcerated brothers and my son. I cried out to God in sobs! I wanted understanding and mercy and deliverance for them and relief for myself. My sence of joy was daunted, however I felt God required I proclaim joy in my heart because he came that I might have joy. I know He understands. Jesus is acquainted with my infirmities. My heart was saddened by witnessing some messiness between family members, who are also believers.The humility required, of bearing with one another’s weakness, was not there and I recognized my judgement and my disdain. The tensity of the day ending in crying, anger, and a sleeping pill. I proclaim this day as I do every day, THIS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE AND I SHALL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT. Lisa
Yesterday, there were a few people coming to me with there issues of anger and hurt. It was so surprising how it was happening repetitively. I was glad that they came to me, because I felt they were looking for that “hold on”, “you can do it” message. I could feel they wanted the encouragement and a positive response.
Motivational Speaking (Photo credit: tymesynk)
It was an opportunity to just listen, so they could get it out. And it was a chance to give them that pep talk, of life ain’t easy, but we get through it and on to better days.
It was good to give people a lift and help them find that second breath. To see them exit with new strength, was easy because sometimes people resist and can drain you with the “it’s never gonna change” stuff.
But, God gave me something that I was able to share so they could be mindful of their selves and see better outcomes. It’s that, “Negativity begets Negativity” nothing positive comes out of your negative talk, attitude, or actions.
So I’m looking and those that I talk to can look to getting positive outcomes through our positivity.
Life is a journey with pitfalls and mountain tops, the key is to live each moment to the fullest. I am positive this is what God is putting in my spirit.
I’m intending to be more adventurous and edgy. I don’t have to play it so safe, I can live on the edge because, I’m safe and secure in His Pavilion. This is my self-fulfilling prophecy.
The Reid Connection 
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