Self awareness is a constant seeking. We are always presented with challenges and opportunities to learn about ourselves. God is so good, in that He reveals ourselves to us in situations that we face. Some situations that my be disturbing or grievous, in our cry out to help, understanding or change He will show us our attitude, or belief system, be it unbelief, or lack of faith that keeps us in our circumstances or that does not manifest the change we seek.
What am I saying? When seeking change to situations, we can discover how certain situations has become apart of our lives. So, then how do we effect change or effectively change to have better experiences. In this self discovery, lies more change and determination to think right, to better our attitudes and belief system.
In the case with my Journey diet, I’m feeling flustered. I have made many changes and sacrifices and the changes I’ve sought have not happened, it is happening, but to the degree I’ve made changes, the scale victory I’d like to see is not there. And most of all I’m not adapting well to eating and not having that feeling of satisfaction. I have realized that I expect something from my food and meal time. I expecting to “feel” good. I never knew that I attached so much joy and satisfaction to my meals. I’m wondering why this is and why am I not satisfied. Honestly, this has caused me to have thoughts of quitting. Because I missed and wanted my “old feeling” of satisfaction I once got from food and truthfully I was annoyed.
And although, I had decided to eliminate certain foods from my diet prior to the Journey, it seemed as if I could give them up more easily because I felt it would serve me with feeling better after a meal and in my body, my skin and digestive system.
This was a happy choice and I felt good about having made the decision to make these changes. But now here I am on the Journey and feel myself resenting the sacrifices to a “feel good” meal.
I’ve asked God to reveal what it is about me that has me feeling and seeing things this way. Anyway, I’m pressing on and I’ll see it through to the end, pissed and all.
What I believe I’m hearing from God is there are times when the “bigger the challenge the bigger the victory”. So I’ll accept that with expectation.